Dear Love,

Let’s do a flash philosophy.

Plato, in his dialogue Euthyphro, proposed a question.
This question is probably one of the philosophy’s most enduring question:

“Do we love something because it is lovable,
or is it lovable because we love it?”

Now, what do you think?
René Descartes, French philosopher, have some thoughts about this.
He was not concerned very much with the problem of attaining the certainty and avoiding error regarding to love judgments.
In fact, he wanted people to see love as a complex phenomenon which can’t be reduced to the desire only to obtain true judgments about the world.
Or in another words, love is very much relative and just goddamn complicated.

Personally, I would choose the first one, and well, as you already know, because I do love you, and I didn’t love you by some random chance or whatever.
But, here’s the tricky part: I really think that one side of the question doesn’t necessarily defeats the other, doesn’t mean that because we love something because it’s lovable then we can’t see something is lovable because we love it.

As you already know, I love you– I love all about you.
And by saying I love you means that I accept you for the person that you are.
And by that, I do not and do not ever wish to change you into someone else.
It means that I will love you even when you are in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do with you, and it means loving you when you are down, not just when you are happy, making those silly faces, or just simply fun to be with.
When I said that, it means that I care enough to fight for what we have, and that I love you enough not to let go of that beautiful thing– everything; not to mention that I’m thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly.

Did you see it? What I’m saying is that, I love you because of you– because you are being you, yourself, but not just the pretty parts of you that is lovable, I love you for your bad parts– your perfection, simply because I love you.

Alright, let’s stop this confusion.

Let’s blame love for all of this, for all the words that I’ve write, for the time we got close to each other, for the kisses that we had and we will have, for the sweet times that we spent and will spend together; all of them.
Because it’s just that feeling that makes you completely blind, it makes me just follow that voice inside my own tattered heart that leads me to you.
Love, no matter what I do, your name is engraved letter by letter in my veins.
No matter what I do, it just runs through my blood.

And no matter what I do, there’s just no runaway; it’s as if I’m stuck on the railway, waiting for the train to demolish me; and, as I drowned in my thoughts, I wondered if my heart was still beating, or if it was just a sound in my ears.
Everytime I put my heart back inside my chest, it aches– it craves for you.

I guess I’m fucked.

Right now, the only thing that I want to do is going back to two months ago.
Where we were lying down together and looked at that certain attraction.
Okay, maybe I told you everything, but I haven’t told you this in person.
I haven’t got the chance to tell you how it feels like loving you.
For now, just imagine me saying the words that I want to say in my voice.

Love, I really, really want to whisper these words right beside your ear:

“.. You know what? loving you is scary. I could imagine all sorts of things that I would do just for you. Just for love. Just for us. And it scares me- it does scare me that much. The amount of love that I have for you is just too much.”
“It’s not that I regret having it or anything. It’s just… It amazes me. It amazes me how much love that I could have when I know that I’m loving the right person.”
“I might be confused. Is it being scared? Is it being in total awe? I don’t know for sure. All I know, when it boils down to the love that I have for you deep inside my heart, I only want two things in this world:”

“I only want you.”

“And I want us.”







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