12-07-2016.

00:21

 

Dear Love,

 

I dreamed about you just now.

I dreamed that both our rooms are connected, and we woke up at the same time. It was 3 A.M. and I went to my door, only to find you standing at my door. I saw you. We were looking at each other, eyes locked to each other’s. I saw your messy bed-head and knowing eyes. At that sight, sorrow pooled in my chest, as if the sorrow itself was threatening to overflow and wholly spit out my soul to the floor around us.

I saw you. You, my everything. You, who turned my Monday morning to Sunday afternoon. You, who, with your sweet smile, convinced the day itself to stay just one more song longer, and who made the night blush galaxies across the sky to see your face better in the dark, where our long walks became something sacred, where sweaty hand-hold meant unspoken promises, and the sunsets were painted for only us to behold and marvel because we, both of us, are something special and invincible.

And you, you stood there, in front of me, in front of my door – our door, with tears threatening to overflow from your eyes to that room of yours, where we shared our first kiss, and looking up at a universe of possibilities. You spoke, with a voice that, despite the tremors and sobs that attacked your body, rang very, very clear:

“… I shouldn’t be here. I don’t know what happened. I’m sorry, I –“

I nodded, gently brushing my fingers across your cheek, knowing that your heart had wrested control of your voice, that you may dare not speak any longer.

I spoke. My voice was shaking. Tears rolled down my face:

“… Love, being sorry does not fix anything.”

“And no, I don’t think I could stop crying now. Because God knows I can’t when every beautiful thing reminds me of you. I need you to know that I only want you. I want to — No, I.. I want you to be strong. You are beautiful, and I need you to know that if something happened to you, your beauty will not fade.”

“And know that I will always be there with a dry shoulder to cry on and strong arms for hugging you, just like when we first met at that certain airport.”

I looked into your eyes, and I saw them glimmered with what I would call Hope.

“… Know that there’s no goodbye. If any, I would call it just until next time. I would call it as merely a break from roller-coaster rides where the ground spins madly, but we know that we will both inevitably step back on even if we throw up a few times.”

“I might failed to understand why you walked away. And more why are you standing here right now in front of me with those graceful eyes of yours staring at me. But, all I know, is that I love you, and we are not a mistake. And we will never be one.”

“Because we are not shooting star that pass once only to be lost in the void. No. We are just two madly-in-love humans that is currently wishing upon that star. Wishing that time would move faster, so we could eventually hop back on our next journey – to get back on together on one same road.”

“.. And this time, forever.”

As I finished speaking, you covered your face with your both hands, sobbing uncontrollably, and muttered something that I didn’t hear clearly. I blinked, and you were gone. I blinked again, and your room was gone. My room was gone. All gone. I stood in total darkness, slowly calling your name.

“… Love?”

And I woke up. I woke up with tears in my eyes, with my heart aching, and with the lingering feeling of me touching your porcelain skin on my right hand. I sweared and sat on my bed, thinking about you, and how weird and strange the dream was. Now I don’t want to go back to sleep. I don’t want to face my morning. I don’t want to see the sunrise. I don’t even want my breakfast. I don’t want my morning coffee nor tea. All I want is you. You, you, you, you and you.

Because my morning won’t be complete until I drink the sweet sound of your laughter, and until I inhale your sweet, lovely warm embrace.

 

Love,
Yours.

V.A.C.W.

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