08-06-2016.

02:49

Sometimes, sometimes humans are hard to understand.

And sometimes, they aren’t.
The truth is, most of the time, we – humans – aren’t.

We just chose to look at them with our own glasses,
with our own state of complicacy.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Yesterday, I was checking out a certain social media.
It has to do with something related to another book-related social media.
And I saw.. I saw her posting something.

“Kill them with kindness.”

And I thought, ha, something going on?
I don’t know how or why she posted that thing,
But I cant help to wonder if there’s something around going on with her.
Or maybe it’s just something related to what happened to her earlier.
That.. Fateful day, for me, and for her.

Nevertheless, I do agree with what she posted.
I’ve said this numerous times,
But honestly, I could relate with those words.
Since years ago, maybe since I was in high school, people always say to me that I am being too nice to people.
That I should be more cruel, and less understanding to people.
Simply because people won’t do the same thing to you.
Simply because, you will start to have expectations for them.

But I disagree.
I don’t think kindness is something bad.
Yes, I know what there are some people that would use your kindness, they will suck whatever it is that they can get, down to your marrow.
They will take you for granted because of what you have.
They will look at you with a jaundiced eye.
Because, let me tell you the truth.
Let me tell you the reality of it all:

Most people don’t give a fuck about your pain.
They don’t care about your hurting.
They only want kindness from other people.
Because most of them are too busy caring about not getting hurt, that sometimes they forget that you are a human, too.
And sometimes,
Sometimes in the midst of all of that, they break you, while hoping that they could make themselves whole once again.
And, you see, it all becomes a cycle of who cares less,
It all becomes a cycle of who heals faster.

And let me tell you, it is a cycle I have no wish to be part of.

I don’t care about what people might say.
This is what I am.
And I’m sure that there is no wrong in spreading kindness.
Maybe kindness is contagious, and maybe it is not.
I don’t really know, and I don’t really care.
All I know I’m doing this because I generally am like to be nice to people.
There will be some people around you that will question your kindness.
And people around you that will take your kindness for granted.

Besides, doing kindness doesn’t require anything from you.

But there is something different with compassion.
Compassion is when we reach out to help a person who is suffering,
When we reach out to help a person who is unhappy.
That, is compassion.
Kindness is simply an act of being friendly to everyone we meet.
And we don’t care about what is happening to them.
We don’t care about their circumstances.
We just be nice, and be friendly to them.
Now that, is kindness.

Many people mistakes compassion for kindness.
We could be kind without even have try to help anyone.

Oh I talked about this shit numerous times.
Just because there are so many people that turned spitefully bitter after doing some random act of kindness.
Well, they are not wrong for turning bitter.
Or maybe they are, I don’t really know.
But the thing is, I don’t think that we need to turn bitter just because we had a rough times, just because something happened to us.

Now I wonder what’s the deal with ‘those’ kind of people.
People that like to belittle people,
People that.. Like to use other people’s kindness.
People that think that kindness is something bad.
Even one of my older cousins said this sentence to me once when she was back from Belgium few months ago:

“Being kind to people is something that I should NOT have done. I’ve been so kind to people, yet I got nothing but being used by people around me. When you are being kind to other people, they will start to think that they could use you, that they could use your kindness. So let me tell you, just do NOT be nice to people. Be evil. Fuck kindness, it brings nothing but sadness to ourselves. Oh I brought kindness to other people and they give me nothing but asshole-like treatments.”

Well, I could relate to those words.
I mean, I know other people that just turned bitter because of what they have been through, because of what happened to them.
That was one perfect example, tho.
And no, I don’t want to turn like that.
I don’t want to become someone like that.
I don’t want to be afraid to do something to people because some other people did something bad to me.
And in this case, I won’t stop doing kindness to people just because some other people were being an asshole to me eventhough I did some kindness to them.

Besides, what wisdom can you find that is greater that kindness?

So I usually tell people that I am generally pretty nice.
Oh I am, I love being kind to people.
So if there’s an even where I am being an asshole to someone, then the wrong is not on my side – do not ask me why am I being an asshole.

So let me tell you – I could safely say that if I’m being an asshole to you, then there must be something wrong with you, period.

Never push someone nice way over their limits.
Everyone has one, even me.
When you have the chance to be nice to people, be one.
While I know that there are some people that DO NOT deserve your kindness – the kind of assholes that I would be an asshole to – there is nothing wrong by generally being kind to everyone.
It does not cost you anything, really.

Heck, the world will be a better place if people start to do even one small act of random kindness every single day.

……

Dear Love,

Let me tell you the paradoxical commandments I read months ago.
Read carefully.
Here goes:

…………………………………………………………………….

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

……………………………………………………………………….

You see, Love, there is no such thing as going through something in silent just for fun. I know that it is seldom fun.
And it is fucking tiring. Yes. I understand.
I know that it always nerve-wracking.
I know that it’s demoralizing and seemingly impossible.

Love, I know that you are doing your work close to people.
I mean, you are doing it for the community.
Simply put, you are in it for other people.

Let me tell you that you may not always succeed.

I don’t want to sugarcoat anything. I just want to say something real.
Yes, it’s true that we have to think positive, but we can’t omit the possibilities of it being crushed to pieces – of it being totally fail.

Let me ask you once again to sit down and think about something.
Love, the approach that you take does not require saints.
And it does not make you a martyr.
Because I am kind of convinced that if you are helping people for your sake and not theirs, you will never be satisfied.
If you are out for glory, then you will never have enough.
You will never be happy.

On the other hand, if you really want to help and all, then don’t ask for a recognition, because lack of recognition is no great tragedy.
Oh you can buy glory and recognition, sure.
But you can NOT buy the meaning behind those things.
Because satisfaction have to come from the inside.

Even newspaper or article headlines can’t give it to you.

But let me tell you that you are doing the best thing right now.
You are doing things which are really meaningful.
For both you and the people around you.
Love, you are working at your potential.
And I believe there would be no regrets if you are doing it to your heart’s content.
Because you are doing the most you can.

Because you, are doing the best you can.

Although, NEVER do something that you don’t like doing.
Just.. Don’t. It’s like slowly killing yourself every single day.
Nevertheless, I believe that you are doing whatever it is that you are doing right now – and I really want to know – because you love doing it.

Read the paradoxical commandments once again.

One last thing:
Deep kindness, along with something sincere and real is always good.
Let’s call it people-consciousness.
And when you do kindness to other people, it could give you happiness.
Just don’t do it for yourself.
Work for the cause, not for the applause.

And believe me, it could be the happiest thing that ever happens to you.

 
Hugs and kisses,
Yours.

V.A.C.W.

 


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