I woke up calling her name.


Fortunately no one heard me.
I didn’t even know what I was dreaming of.
All I know, I woke up, and I called her name twice.
And, like always, I miss her so goddamn much.

I don’t know how did I suddenly speak out her name unconsciously without me realizing it, but I guess, my heart just can’t handle the brimming feelings and had to do something about it.

Speaking of which, I skipped two days of writing things.
I was so, so tired.
I tried to finish some poems but didn’t even managed to finish the second stanza.
I guess I was just too tired and thinking too much about her.

All I want right now is to write some poems.
My feeling are brimming.
About her, I don’t know what is happening about her.
I messaged her this evening and told her that I went to a piano concert for the first time in my whole life, and I told her it was fun.
And like always, she said / replied nothing about it.
I guess she’s just doesn’t know what to say.

Okay, I don’t want to ramble around right now.
I just want to.. Finish some of my unfinished poems.

I need to pour out my feelings to paper.


Dear Love,

I miss you.
I don’t even know how I could miss you this much.
I don’t even know how I could love you this much.

All I know, I want you.
I want to understand you even in the madness.
I want to help you, or rather, I should say, guide you.
I want to support you, I want to be your hope when everything else fails.

Love, I want you – I want to be with you.
And no, I do not love you because of some stupid reason like body or face.

I don’t even love you because I only love the idea of being in love.

And yes, right now, my feelings are brimming.
And I really need to pour it on paper, I want to write some poems.
I guess sometimes it’s best to just sit in silence with your insides,
And listen to your screaming heartbeat.

And right now, my heart is screaming for your name.




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