My left shoulder is sprained.

I was walking down the stairs this morning.
My eyes were barely open, I was up all night writing things.
Lately my feelings are all screwed up.
Mainly because of the misunderstanding that happened between me and her.
I can’t even get a good night sleep last night.
As I was about to put my right foot on the second step, I slipped.

I fell down hard, and my top left shoulder hit the wall corner on the bottom left of the stairs.

The pain was so incredible that I thought I had been shot by someone.
I screamed and writhing in pain.
My cousins immediately went down and see what was going on.
Because they afraid that I broke something, they brought me to hospital.

Two of my shoulder’s ligaments were torn.
The doctor said they were just partially torn.
And my joints remain joined.
Even right now, I’m typing with only using my right hand.

I already told her what happened.
Since few days ago I even messaged her about job vacancy.
Just because my cousins happened to have some job vacancy that I saw could suit her very, very well; that, and because she mentioned about taking a job in post office.
I assumed she is in process of searching a job.
I told her about what happened this afternoon.

And uh, of course, she didn’t even reply a single word.

The doctor gave me some anti-inflammatory drugs and tell me to get some rest.
He also said to sometimes put ice on my shoulder to reduce pain and swelling.
He recommend me to wear my sling for full two weeks.
And if you ask, yeah, it REALLY is hindering me and my everyday shits.

But at least the doctor said I will be perfectly fine after three weeks.

I can’t really write much, but I’m trying to.
Just because I’m writing this using one hand and it’s taking so long to write my everyday stuffs in my daily post.
Maybe this is a good chance for me to write more poems and rest myself a bit.
Or maybe to think about what I am going to say to her about what happened to us.


Dear Love,

It’s actually very hard for me to type anything.
Just because I’m not usually type with one hand.

Love, I really want to tell my day to you.
I want to tell you what is happening every single day in my life.
I want to share them with you, every single thing.
But I don’t know if you will appreciate my story.
Or perhaps you would think of me as a disturbance.

Nevertheless, I know I was wrong.

I forced you to answer something that you yourself didn’t even know the answer.
But believe me, I didn’t even know that you didn’t know the answer.
Aside from that, I’m sorry that I forced you to talk to me by saying stupid things.
Yes, I said sorry a lot, I know.
And I’m trying to change myself this time for real.

I know that words are cheap at this point because I repeatedly did the same thing to you even though I said that I will change myself.

And now, with what I said to you about taking a first step,
I believe that I am beginning to be a better man.
For you, and for us.
Love, you have to know that you bring out the best in me.
And maybe, maybe that’s why I’m trying to bring out the best in you.
I was just trying to help you in assessing your flaws and all.

I’m sorry if my words were quite rude and inappropriate.
Perhaps I should have said it better.

Love, my condition really makes me hard to do my work.
Mainly because I can’t type with one hand.
Doctor said that there are chances for my ligaments to swell more.
And he said that it will take a longer time to recover.
Up until one or even two months.

Pray for my recovery, okay?




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