It was raining.
And I forgot to bring my umbrella.
So I walked about 2kms to home, drenched in rain.
And to make it worse, I left my keys at the office.
I literally had to wait for about 15 minutes beneath the rain until my cousin came and brought me spare keys.
And in that 15 minutes, I thought about a lot of things.
I never thought that sitting beside the street and drenched in rain could gave me some good – or should I say stupid – thoughts about love.
Love is.. I guess, one of the greatest things this world has.
And, at the same time, one of the harshest, too.
It is beautiful, but it also can be dark.
It can be cruel, but it is also kind.
It can bring out the best and the worst in people.
And love is about facing challenges and fighting who you care for.
Love could change you.
Oh it will leaves its mark on you.
And by mark, it means that.. It could destroy you.
Or it could completely rebuild you.
And, personally ?
It could drive you mad.
The other part.. I should say it directly to her.
My body feels a little bit hot; I might have a slight fever.
I was completely drenched in rain, that must be the cause.
But if I could think about you under the cold rain, then I think I’m fine.
At least I am trying to be.
You know I always think about you way too goddamn much.
Love, I do not need temporary person in my life.
I need someone permanent.
Someone that I could love completely.
Even if she is one hell of an unlovable mess, I will look at her with love in my eyes.
And I will stay; stay, no matter what happens.
And that person, is you.
I don’t mess around or play games anymore.
I don’t believe in them anymore; I just want honesty.
Because love is supposed to be a safe place.
It’s about accepting someone’s weirdness and flaws.
It’s about being yourself and finding happiness together.
It’s about seeing you – an imperfect person – perfectly.
I know things are looking real bad between us right now.
But who’s to say that I can’t really melt your ice cold heart?
I already did it; not all of them, but just enough so i can bare to touch you.
And, who’s to say that with you, being broken, is not a work of art?
When maybe, just maybe, you just need someone to love you far harder than ever.
Who’s to blame your damage anyway?
Oh, that thing isn’t even worth mentioning.
It isn’t worh the loneliness that drowns you.
Love, I don’t really care about those things.
Because all I know, when you are around, you make me glow.
And I just.. Want to be yours without restriction.
For our love is a drug without prescription.
And it’s limitless, because there is no dose.
No rules, no limit, no petty things whatsoever.
And the truth is, I don’t want to feel anything else but this.
Because it felt so infinite.
It was as if I could live forever beneath the rain.
You see, Love, if that day didn’t happen,
I would crawl inside your heart,
And cherish everything you thought I would have hated.
I would have given you every piece of my patchwork soul.
I would have let you create art from my bones, my words, even my fire.
I would have kissed you deeply in public places, just to let pople see our love.
I would have painted the whole city with our memories.
And I would have built us our own world.
But right now, it’s different.
Right now, I will work until the laighter met your eyes.
I will dig through the soil of you until spring finally found its way into the darkest corners of your heart, your mind, and your soul.
I will fight.
I will send my heart to any war for you, and I would never back down.
Because just like when a child learns to walk and falls down 100 times,
They will never think to themselves like this:
“Oh, walking is not for me, I should stop trying to walk”
No, they don’t do that.
They keep trying to walk until they are able to walk.
And so I will, love you with the same perseverance.
I will swim in a storm, amidst thunders and rains, in search of you.
I will love you, completely.
So you would feel whole instead of lost.
Right now, if you think something like,
“Why his thoughts beneath the rain was all about me?”
Don’t ask me, ask my heart and the rain.
And Love, the final thought before I went into home:
Do you think the universe fights for our souls to be together?
Because, some things are too strange.
And just too weird, and too strong to be coincidences.
I guess, the universe is not as bad as I thought.
Because right now, after minutes beneath the rain, I think I believe in something.
That universe, too, is trying to show you way back to me.
And few things for sure about you and about love:
I love your heart even before I love your face.
I love your vision before I love your eyes.
I love your wisdom before I love the comfort your thoughts gave me.
I love your compassion, way before I love how helpful you can be.
I love the person that you are, not the person I want you to be.
Ultimately, know that I deeply respect you before I am madly in love with you.