Should I?

 

Sometimes I’m afraid of my own writings.

Solely because she just doesn’t want to listen to things related to love. Since she said that she doesn’t want to talk to me because I act like I’m still in a relationship with her, I stopped showing my love directly to her. It’s easy. Understanding someone that I so dearly love and doing things for her is really easy for me. But, what she said made me thinking: What about my writings?

Should I stop writing?

All I know, I told her this blog, and she reads my writings sometimes. I don’t know how often does she read them, and I can’t possibly distinguish her from almost-a-hundred people that visit my blog every single day. But I’m afraid when she reads all of my posts, she will begin to loathe my words. Because I’ve imbued my words with my love for her since my first post. Now that she loathes lovey dovey things, what would she think about all these posts that I wrote? For the first time since months ago, I seriously considering this question:

Should I stop writing?

I don’t want her to stop talking to me just because of my writings. I might have stopped directly saying my love towards her. But, later, when she reads these posts, what would she feel? Contempt? Disgust? Would she avoid me and stopped talking to me once again? It’s a tough call. And I can’t possibly ask her about it. No, I definitely can’t. I would seriously stop writing if what I wrote bring nothing but abhorrence to her. She once said that all my writings are beautiful and heartfelt. Now that she definitely doesn’t want anything related to my love for her, would she still say the same thing? Or would she find every power – every love – that emanates from my words nauseating? I really don’t know what should I do.

Should I stop writing?

I just don’t want her to avoid me because of the love that I have for her. I would rather stay silent about my love, stop my shows of affections, and stop my writings than stop talking to her. Yes, I am afraid to lose her that much.

Are my writings going to be my undoing?
I’m seriously asking myself, and anyone who would be kind enough to answer me this question:

Should I stop writing?

 

V.A.C.W.
04:00

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2 comments

  1. A Single Rose · February 19, 2016

    Please don’t stop writing, I enjoy reading your blogs and without V.A.C.W. blogs it wouldn’t be the same. I would have to find another writer that writes as well as you do, and that would be really hard to find. So please, continue your passion for writing and love.

    Liked by 1 person

    • letmywritingdescribeme · February 20, 2016

      Thank you for the kind words, Rose. I guess I’ll continue to write things. But I’ve decided that there needs to be a time where I should take a break for awhile.

      Like

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