02-02-2016. [2]

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23:30

One thing that I really happy about my new job is the difference from my previous job.

My previous job was the manifestation of the hell itself.
Not literally, of course.

But my previous boss was super ambitious.
Unfortunately, his skills didn’t match with his level of ambitiousness.
Plus he was kind of pushy and love to belittle his employees.
He named it as a challenge, but of course it wasn’t a challenge.
And I got a problem with one of my co-worker.
In short, I resigned from my previous job and continued my study.

Speaking of works, I got my first workload.

It came two hours after I wrote my last post.
I was super happy.
Yeah, it might sounds strange.
Usually people would whine at their workloads on their job.
But, well, I don’t know, I just really like doing my job.
I was so immersed in it for hours.
That’s why I arrived home around 9:30 pm even though I went in at 9 am.

But still, no matter how busy I am, everytime I stop, I always think of her.
I guess I still madly in love with her.

Love.

I actually think that love.. Is simple.
Or perhaps I want love to be simple.
I want to trust someone that I love without second thought, like what I do to her.
I just want to be generous with my affection and patience.
And I want to love unconditionally.

Because it is easier to love a person with their flaws.
With their imperfections.
Than to weed through them.
I want to love her as a whole.
I want to love the whole person, not parts.

And somehow, it’s just how I want to be loved.
There’s a saying in latin by Lucius Annaeus Seneca:
 

Si vis amari, ama.

 
Meaning “If you wish to be loved, love.”
If you want to be loved by someone with the same affection as yours to them,
then love them with all that you have.
I always have that in mind when loving someone.
And I believe she felt it too.
When she loves me with all that she have, I loved her back with even greater affection.
And I felt the same too.
It’s as if we complete each other.

Until that day happened.

Oh well.
I do still love her until this day.
And I still believe in those words.
I may not show her my affections outside my writings.
But I believe she understands just how much I love her.

Or not.

Because I love her more than she will ever know.

……

Dear Love,

I never thought that I would be loving my job this much.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m new at the workplace, but I guess it’s more than that.
I feel challenged, and ready to do my best at my job.
Smile at me, will you?
And pray wish me that I will always give my best at my work.

About workplace, I haven’t show you my office.
I will give you some photos tomorrow.
It will be awesome; trust me!
You will understand just how fun my work environment is.

Speaking of which, I haven’t got the time to finish my sonnet.
I will finish it, and like always, give it to you personally first before anyone else.
Perhaps tomorrow, or the day after.

Love, even though I don’t write much these days, always remember that one thing.
One thing that I always say to you almost every single day:
I will always be there for you.
Yes, we might not talk because you just don’t want to talk to me for some reason.
Reasons that I myself just don’t know because you won’t tell me.

But still, I will always be there for you.
No matter what happens.
Even on your darkest days when you feel the most alone and you got no one.

Know that you have me.
I will always be there for you.

Always.

Love,
Yours.

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