08-01-2016.

01:10

I’m currently having a severe migraine.
I feel so weak and nauseous.
Well, I don’t know what is currently happening.
I was just trying to finish a poem after an interview.
And then I got this migraine.

Hell, my health’s been deteriorating lately.
I immediately stopped whatever it was I was doing.
So, no published poems for today and yesterday.
Thanks to my body.

As silly as its sound, perhaps its because of the date.
It’s 8 January.

Eight.

It’s supposed to be our anniversary date.
Me and her.
I know it has been months.
But, I just don’t know what to do.

It’s not because I do not accept on what happened to her.
I’ve said it hundreds of times, I understand about what happened to her.
About her shattered trust.
About her depression.
About her not being able to see flowers as flowers.
About her back that’s still bleeding from the betrayal(s).
Those thing made her unable to stay in a relationship.

I don’t exactly know why I keep repeating this.
Perhaps it’s just to ensure myself about what happened to her.
Well, it really was horrible.
And I just can’t believe it happened to her.

I mean, what are the odds?
Like, those people conspired just to bring her down.
Just to utterly and completely destroy her.
Doesn’t mean that I don’t believe her. I do.
It’s just, you know, it’s just so, again, sickening.
I can’t even get enough of repeating that fact.

She messaged me few hours ago.
She said she’s super busy and all.
Yes, I completely understand just how busy she is.
And I appreciate that she found her time to message me among her busyness.
She said she’s completely exhausted and just ready to pass out.
I told her to get some rest.
Tomorrow’s her deadline, but if she does pass out, she won’t be able to do anything anyway. She just need some rest; at least a powernap will do.

But when she messaged me, it literally made my day.
My migraine was gone for few seconds.
Well, it came back few seconds after.

If you ask, what is so special about her that made me go absolutely mad in love with her?
I believe I explained something about her beauty.
Inside beauty, not the outside.

She really has a good heart.
She didn’t even try to kill and take revenge on those people that betrayed her.
She forgave them all.
All of them.
Not for me, tho.

I foolishly lashed my anger at one of those assholes a month ago.
I said foolish, because what I did was just adding fuel to a fire.
By fire, I mean the rumors and the idle talks those fuckers do to bring her down.
Those stupid things are still continuing until this day.
Yes, I really was foolish, but,

God, some people really were just born evil, weren’t they?

Perhaps to teach them good manners is like teaching a blind man on how to recognize colors in front of them. You just bloody can’t.

Perhaps those reasons I mentioned was just why I do love her so.
If I compare this love for her that I have right now to what it was six years ago, it definitely gone stronger.
It’s like comparing the whole Asia continent to Hawaii.

For you men, let me tell you, if you found a woman like her, never let her go.
Don’t ever betray her or break her heart.
And just don’t ever give up on her.
Because there is something you need to know about a woman like her :

A woman with such beautiful heart and soul is a woman worth going after.

……

Dear Love,

I really don’t know what to say other than, please don’t forget to rest.
Yes, your deadline might be tomorrow today.
But don’t forget to get some sleep.
Like I said numerous times, if you fall ill, you won’t be able to do anything.
Not even your precious assignments.
Take care of yourself, Love.

As for me, I think I’ll be fine.
I just drank some meds my sister gave me.
And she was really mad at me for staying up late until dawn.
Well, I think I’m going to try to get some sleep in this condition.
I’ll read that Animal Farm; #2 in my to-read list.
Perhaps it will help me sleep, with me now being weak and all.

I need to take care of myself better.
You should, too.
It’s 2016. Perhaps your first resolution should be.. To get plenty of rest in weekdays.
Or I don’t know, Love. Perhaps you already have the 2016 resolution.

One thing’s for sure,
I know you’re extremely busy with work and assignments.
And also you have some problems with yourself and people around you.
Let me say this again, please don’t get bored:

I will always be there for you whenever you need me.
If you want to ask for advice for your assignments and works, do random talks, rant, vent, or just need to pour out your feelings, just do tell me.
I will listen to you.
You have me that you can always count on.

Strive on, Love.
I’m crossing my fingers for you and your assignments.

Love,
Yours.

V.A.C.W.
 


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