01-12-2015.

00:01

December, huh ?
This year went by so fast.

Looking back, there are so many things happened in my life this year.

I met so many people in my life this year. Some stayed, some went away.
The memories before May was a little bit blurry.
All I can remember was, I was still working as a teaching assistant.

After May, things are way more clearer.

I called her for the first time since 2 years.
Me and her were like hand in glove. She and I fit perfectly with each other.
After that, she and I exchanged words of love.

And then, something happened with one of my friends.
That event left me with no one but her.
My best friends all went away. They now look at me with a jaundiced eye.
She made me want to take a leap of faith and take our relationship seriously.
And so I did.

And then the turning point, 3 months ago.
What happened to her made her threw our relationship away.
That left me in despair until today.

After that event, well, I wrote them all in my posts.

Funny how things are moving so fast.
And it’s as if I can’t keep up with things that happened.
But in fact, I have lived through them every single day until today.

Promises. Love. Happiness. Lies. Betrayal. Fear. Distrust. Despair. Persistence. Resolve. Giving Up. Broken Promises. More Lies. Cheating. Dishonesty. Heartsick. Heartbroken.

And if I look at myself right now, well, I am a mess.
Not physically, but emotionally.
My heart are shattered into little pieces. Scattered.
All I left with are this one whole piece called love in my hand.
I don’t have the energy to pick those pieces.
Some of them are even already gone to somewhere I don’t know.

Bad year ?
Maybe. Maybe not. The year’s not over yet.
I’ll decide it later around Christmas.

……

Dear Love,

Look back.

Look at what you’ve been through. At what we’ve been through.
And then look at yourself in the mirror.
Look at me. Look at my photo.
Look at us. Look at our photo together.

And then ask your heart. Heart, not your mind.

Is this what you really want ?

 

V.A.C.W.

 


tumblr_mo14slgxv41rirb5vo1_500

 

I began to understand why she loves this band.
With all their songs.

Linked to: another song that suits with my condition.

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