27-11-2015.

14:47

It finally revealed.

She was actually hiding something from me.
I asked her multiple times this question,

“Do you actually hide something from me on Facebook? Your posts or anything?”

And I always got the same answer.

“No.”

If you haven’t known, there is this one function that allows you to keep one of your friend in a tab called Close Friend tab.
And it will allow you to see a number of new posts that they made.
And yesterday, the close friend notification just keep coming.
They added up to 4.
But when I went to her profile, there’s nothing new there.

I was like, what the fuck is wrong with Facebook?

And today, I gave her one chance.
I asked her if she was hiding everything from me on Facebook.
She said she wasn’t.
And I dared her to take a screenshot on her timeline.
She didn’t want to.
I told her if she doesn’t want to I will ask someone else that knew her.
She said I should ask whoever I wanted to ask.

Okay.
And I asked someone.
And the result ?
She was actually hiding something from me.

So she lied to me numerous times. So many fucking times.
That was fatal.
Plus, she was ready to left me. So she broke her promises, she said she promised she would never leave me and would never give up on me no matter what.
And she said there’s nothing with her and that certain guy that was doing Skype call with her. But as far as I can see, they are doing lovey dovey shit things that she said she can’t do.

And the most heartbreaking part was, she said she doesn’t want to fix herself for me because she thought I would be fine without her.
What kind of selfish thinking was that?
Those words tore me to bloody pieces.

The final blow was the promises part. She didn’t even try to keep her promises. Even though she clearly said that she will always love me no matter what.

Those things made me unable to trust her now.
All I know, she’s just can’t be trusted.
She didn’t stay real behind me.

Maybe for me she’s officially cruel now.
Is this what she usually does to person that she loves?
I don’t know. I just don’t know what is happening with her.

All I know, She destroyed me. Shattered me to tiny little pieces.
And I don’t want to collect my pieces.
I don’t even know how to arrange them.
Only she knows.

I don’t care about anything anymore.
Right now, I’ll just let those pieces blown by the wind.

……

Dear Love,

Why Love?
Because my stupid heart always forgive you no matter how many mistakes you’ve made.
My stupid heart always forgive someone that he loves. And it’s you.

You should re-read all my posts starting from 16th October 2015.
Just to remind yourself how much I love you, in case your amnesia kicks in.

Like I said, you are officially cruel and evil right now.
My situation right now matched with what you said to me,

“No matter how much I fight for someone, they always ended up leaving me.”

Now that there’s someone fighting for you, you LEFT them.
You LEFT me.
Can’t you see the irony ?

Right now, I have no one left around me.
My friends on Skype, those two people that you know, are paying no attention to me. I remember when we had a problem with one of them you said to me NOT to make you regret choosing me. And I did my best.
And this is what you gave me now?
Perhaps I regret choosing you back then.

You promised.
You gave me your word. You filled me with hope and security.
You told me the things I needed to hear to take the chance and make the jump with you.

You made me feel like I was worth it, I was who you wanted.
But you shattered that all quite well.
You didn’t even try to fix us.
You turned around and left me falling without you.

You promised me you wouldn’t.
But you did.
You left me.
And you gave up on us.

Congratulations.
You’ve successfully destroyed me.
Utterly.
To tiny little pieces.
You know how it feels like to be destroyed.
And now, you did to me what those people did to you. With 10 times the pain.
If this is what you want, please congratulate yourself and pat yourself in the back.
You’ve earned it.

 

V.A.C.W.

 


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