24-11-2015. [2]

16:57

Today, I decided to give her a pep talk.
It’s been so long since I gave her one.

What kind of pep talk ?

One that she might really needs.
I think everyone needs a pep talk sometimes.
Be it from themselves or from other people.
It’s like giving a food to someone’s soul.

Speaking of giving food to a soul, I suddenly remember an old Native American tale.

….

One evening, an elderly Cherokee Brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two ‘wolves’ inside us all.

One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

One is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied,
“The one you feed.”

…..

So, yeah, I hope I could motivate her. give her something to think about.
Give her a food for the good inside her.
Well, I can’t actually give her a real pep talk, since she refused to talk to me.
So I’ll just write it down here and hoping that she would read it.

……

Dear Love,

Before anything, let me say something about my previous post.
I was pissed off about my father. And I think I might somewhat wrote my post in resentment. I just read it again and I could sense my anger in the post.
I’m sorry if you felt like being scolded for no reason.
I guess my writings really are the truest reflections of my feelings.

Anyway, yes, I want to give you a pep talk.
Well, it’s been a long time since I gave you one.
I know I wrote a lot of things to you. But I never gave you an actual pep talk before.
And I really want to give you one now.
I even skipped writing a poem today. I saved it for tomorrow.

Before we start, let’s put our bad emotions aside.
ego, resentment, cynicism, bitterness, self-righteousness, anger, sorrow, etc. All of them.
Let’s calm ourselves. Not only you, but also me.
And take a deep breath. A deep one.

Done? Ready?
A little bit of advice, try to read all of this in my voice.
Let us start.

Firstly,
I want you to know that I really want to be there for you. Is there anything I can do for you?
If there is, please let me know.
I could listen to whatever you want to talk to.
If you want to update things about what happened to you like what you did to me yesterday,
I will be there for you. I will listen.
Just let me know.

Secondly,
I want you to know that I am VERY proud of you.
I knew since years ago that you’re strong. Not physically, of course.
You still are, my strong little girl. The strongest of all girls.
But what you did, made me really astonished.
You forgive those lowly scums even though they didn’t deserve it.
And yesterday you even told them to be patient like what you did.
That, my dear, took a LOT of courage.
Honestly I would lose my shit if someone did that to me.
I guess karma really has no menu. People got what they deserve.
And the fruit of patience, sure is sweet. You showed that to me.
What’s more, you even picked yourself up and still walking towards your goal.
You’re a very resilient person. I really am, proud of you.

And I want you to know that I believe in you. I trust you on what happened to you.
Since months ago, I believe that what you’ve been going through is not a fake thing, and is not a cheap, stupid drama designed to ask for pities from people around you.
I understand about what you are going through.
About what happened to you. About your trust issues. About why you are extremely cynical and bitter to get into a close relationship with anyone. About why that made you feel like throwing away all the wonderful things that we have, our relationship.
I’m sorry that you are having such a hard time right now.
And I know you really do NOT want all of this to happen.

Have you tried the same thing that worked before ?
Maybe this time, changing your perspective on how you look at relationship? Such as thinking the same positive way you look at things before ‘that’ happened? Before you went all bitter and cynical ?
Have you thought about look positively at the good in the person and in the relationship? For example, looking at me and our relationship closely?

Because you, my dear, you are a veteran of many battles.
You already got many medals from your previous battles.
You have been through many super tough times before, right ? So you know there must be a cause, and don’t you think there must be a solution for every cause ?
And you have gotten through them before. All of them.
You bounced back. You recovered very well.
You’re a seasoned veteran in this kind of problem.

Lastly,
Remember, Love, I’ll be there for you whenever you want to go forward.
If you need something like, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to boost you up, I will be there.
You realized that there are many things humans can’t do alone all by themselves, right?
As amazing, as incredible, as marvelous, and as awesome as you can be, perhaps it is okay to be weak and vulnerable to me sometimes.
Taking a step forward doesn’t hurt you, but the negative thought does.

So don’t give up and don’t let go.
Most importantly, don’t lose hope. We never know what tomorrow will bring.
Let’s strive on without fear.
Together.

With all my Love,
Yours.

V.A.C.W.

 


maya

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