I talked to her today.
I asked her if she’s still afraid of me,
if she’s still can’t trust me because of what happened.
It’s not that.
She understands well that people will always hurt other people.
Intentionally, or unintentionally.
Although she clearly said that people will always hurt her.
Plus, she said that she is tired of being in such lovey dovey relationship.
Because for her, it does not exist.
She has turned bitter.
She has turned cynical.
I can see she is better than she was a month ago.
It seems like she’s not afraid to trust someone anymore.
But she is still bitter.
As bitter as bittergourd.
Okay, after terrible terrible friendship breakups, after she finally found there are a lot of untrustworthy people after they’ve betrayed her, its normal to temporarily forget the reasons why the relationship was not working.
It is very normal to be tired about relationship.
It is part of breaking the attachment of the bond that was formed.
But she can’t keep dwelling on nice things that are lost.
She kept saying to herself lovey dovey relationship does not exist.
While in fact, it is already exist there in her heart.
Covered with dust.
She understands very well what she and I have. It is real.
The relationship is real.
She does not forget her love.
She does not forget all the things that she and I have built.
She just.. Pretends all of those don’t exist.
She chose to ignore them. She turned her back to them.
And she keeps dwelling and staying in the past, holding them.
She needs to let them go, and dwell on nice things that remains.
I wish she would look around her and cherish what she has.
She needs to look at herself in the mirror right now,
and realize that she has turned into someone different.
Someone she hardly recognize.
I know you’re tired. I know that you’ve gone through a lot of things.
What happened to you made you tired of relationship.
I understand that you need your time to rest.
It’s like a broken leg, if our leg is broken, we do not use it to run.
We let it rest and heal.
Same does with your heart and mind.
But don’t ever say that fairytales or loveydovey relationship does not exist.
It does exist.
Even for you. For me. For all of us.
If you don’t believe me, open your “Magic” Book.
Open that “Magic” Birthday Jar I gave you.
Read them. Look what we have. What we’ve been through.
I dare you to say that loveydovey relationship does not exist after you read all of those.
Realize that you’re on a phase. You’re just temporarily tired.
Do NOT let those awful feelings latch onto you,
and make you bitter and cynical for the rest of your life.
I’m not saying that you have to fight those awful feelings.
You just have to realize they’re exist, and let them go later.
Recognize them. Realize that those feelings are only temporary.
Realize that those feelings are actually not important.
They will go away.
Always look on the bright side of everything.
Divide the good and the bad.
Don’t be a victim of your negativity. Be a victor.
Let your positivity shines so bright, it blinds you from seeing negative things.
Believe that you will be fine. That you will back to your loving self.
Don’t give up.