Today is the last day i’ll be in this town.
In this place.
Where I’ll go next, I’m still not quite sure, there’s some options that I still need to choose.
I packed my things. Clothes, Papers, Books, in few boxes.
And then, i found things.
Things related to her.
They made me stop packing, and start to remember many things.
They made me want to write this post right now.
I don’t know if she’s going to read this.
I hope she will.
Because this post, is mainly for her.
This is what I found.
Things related to us.
Restaurant business cards for the places where we ate.
Envelope labeled with “To See Her”. The money’s still inside. I think I have to wait a little bit more until I am going to use this money to see you.
Greeting card. For the cake. Yes, Love, I will always stay strong. This time, for you, and me.
Your writings on the brown envelope you wrote for me before I went home in Airport. You silly girl, you. Of course I won’t be bored of us. I will always love you.
And, your signature is still like a 3-stakes fence with 2 rails scratched with your name. (HAHA !)
I bet you remember saw me excellently copying that beautiful signature of yours. Don’t you forget that.
A letter along with the book you gave me as a surprise. It’s still and will forever be my treasure.
Letters for you. I wrote these letters for you, about.. many things. I was about to gave it to you along with your birthday present. But, I thought i need to write 10-15 more, so I changed my mind. I promise I’ll give it to you later.
Pink envelope with wrong writings that I was about to use with the letter i gave you for your birthday. I stupidly wrote your name wrong on these 4 envelopes 4 times. Missing E. I wrote your name upside down. The writing was too big, and too small. I guess I was.. Nervous ?
Small notes filled with list of what I wrote in the “Magic” Birthday Jar I gave you.
Boarding pass from the last time I met you two months ago.
All of these things made my eyes brimmed with tears.
My chest hurts.
I want to rewind all the moments we have.
How did we become like this ?
We were perfectly fine and happy two months ago until ‘that’ happened.
And now you can’t even spell the word “Love” for me because of what happened.
Love, again, I know you can’t think straight about relationship right now. You can’t even say sweet things related to relationship. Related to us.
And you’re too afraid to touch your own feelings for me.
But know that I’m still here, and I won’t go anywhere.
I’ll always be beside you. Don’t turn your back on me.
Don’t generalize me, or compare me with people who would trade you for something.
I won’t trade you for anything else in this world.
Not even for the world itself.
I won’t make you regret that you’ve fought for us.
You know I meant what I said.
You know I will always love you.
Don’t give up.
Open your heart.