27-10-2015.

I left her alone.

No, we’re not over.
It’s just, she said she needs her time alone.
This time’s for real.

She said she wants to going through her recovery process alone.
And i accepted. With one condition.
She’s not to give up on us.

I really want to help her going through all this.
But i realized, she really doesn’t want any help.
I don’t understand why she wants to go through this alone.
On the other hand, i want her to recover.
I want her to be able to trust me again, to be able to love and laugh in my arms again.
And she wants to be alone.

This is hard.
This is ridiculously unfair.
It’s like universe is playing her game with us.
I did nothing, and now i forced to leave her alone, forced to give her space.

I feel empty.
I feel like i have no choice but to accept.
On one side, i am glad that she wants to recover, that she’s not giving up.
On the other side, i could use some affections, some love from her.
Well, what choice do i have ? I really want her to recover.
I really want her to once again be able to feel her love for me.

“Things take time.”
“Some things just cant be rushed.”
Yes, i know, i know.
I guess i have to be patient and pray for her.

That’s exactly what am i going to do.

……

Dear Love,

I have nothing much to say to you other than “Don’t give up”.
Remember your promises.
I remember mine.
I don’t know how long it would be until you’re recovered from your betrayal, and able to feel your love towards me once again.
It could be tomorrow, the day after, next week, next month, or maybe miraculously on my birthday.
No one knows but God.
At time like this, i remember when you said, “If in the end I’m going to be with you, I’m okay with waiting.”
Words are prayer, i guess ? It’s like we’re being tested by God.
Remember this one, too ?
“… Even if the universe itself tries to keep us separated,
I will always find my way to you.”
Don’t give up. I’ll be here patiently waiting.
Find your way to me.

Love,
V.A.C.W.


hard

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2 comments

  1. lucapallottelli22 · October 27, 2015

    My life*

    Like

  2. jables1234 · October 27, 2015

    If it’s any consolation, I am going through the exact same situation as you and it really sucks. Hang in there!

    Liked by 1 person

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